Author: Ellen Pels

There’s a side to me that cannot bear the daylight
There’s a side to me that you could call perverse
But when you ring me at the crack of dawn
I’ll soon be there, I won’t be long
An’ I’ll hold you while you tell me where it hurts

I will laugh when I see someone tripping over
I’ll sometimes even laugh when you are in tears
But there are things that I take seriously
Like motherhood and being me
And even the current state of affairs

There are parts of me that do not smell like butterflies
There are parts of me that frankly downright stink
But your secrets are all safe with me
That’s my one idiosyncrasy
I will not spill the beans, I am no fink

The fact is that I sometimes just won’t like you
The fact is that I might pretend or lie
But I won’t talk behind your back
About all those traits you seem to lack
And why you always, always dissatisfy

There’s a side to me that’s downright unsympathetic
There’s a side to me I don’t like about myself
But the side of me like the most
Is the love I feel so grandiose
For you and only you and no one else

Featuring: Stageband Jazz Orchestra
Recorded at Wisseloord Studios April 2021

 Eye of the Storm (Live at Wisseloord Studios with the Stageband Jazz Orchestra)

I am standing in the eye of the storm
While the world around me rages
I am standing in the eye of the storm
As I have done for many ages
My feet rooted in the ground
My head held high
Feeling the love that surrounds me
While I watch the rubble fly
I am standing in the eye of the storm

As I watch the anger
Feel the loathing and the hate
I see the colours fading
As I watch me fight my fate
The self-fulfilling prophecy
Created by my mind
Seems to be reflected
In the future of mankind

I am standing in the eye of the storm
While the world around me rages
I am standing in the eye of the storm
As I have done for many ages
My feet rooted in the ground
My head held high
Feeling the love that surrounds me
While I watch the rubble fly
I am standing in the eye of the storm

Will I allow this feeling
To bring me to my knees
Or shall I resist it
And feel a sense of peace
What are my choices
Which way can I go
Will I choose fear and sorrow
Or let my love flow

I see the illness spreading
The sickness and the malice
Poor people are starving
Unheeded by the palace
The Kings, the Queens
The Presidents
The Emperors as well
Require some explaining
At the gates of hell

I am standing in the eye of the storm
While the world around me rages
I am standing in the eye of the storm
As I have done for many ages
My feet rooted in the ground
My head held high
Feeling the love that surrounds me
While I watch the rubble fly
I am standing in the eye of the storm

Featuring: Stageband Jazz Orchestra
Trumpet solo: Jaap de Vries
Recorded at Wisseloord Studios April 2021

I am making notes
For the girl I used to be
Knowing she’ll be scared
Of what she is to see

She’ll need to know she’s strong enough
To carry what will come
She needs to have tenacity
And know she won’t succumb

You’re strong enough
You’re tough enough
You’ll see
You’re good enough
Robust enough
You’ll see

You’re wise enough
You’re kind enough
You’ll see
You’re cool enough
Gracious enough
You’ll see

If only I had understood
If only I had known
When turmoil raged and ruled
How much courage I have shown

If I could send my younger self
A message back through space
Of gumption, spirit and of grit
Many worries I’d erase

You’re strong enough
You’re tough enough
You’ll see
You’re good enough
Robust enough
You’ll see

You’re wise enough
You’re kind enough
You’ll see
You’re cool enough
Gracious enough
You’ll see

Guitar solo: Klaas-Jelmer Sixma
Recorded at Studio Moskou and Studio Silvester April 2021

I wake up to the sound of your complaining
And outside of course it will be raining
Why does all this nonsense always happen to me

My clothes are boring, I have a bad hair day
When will luck ever be coming my way
Why do my wishes never become reality

Don’t be blue
Turn it around
Change your views
Upside down

Why was I born in this alien country
Where everyone always speaks so bluntly
Where everyone is self-centered and selfish, I don’t understand

No one ever puts me first
Pays me a compliment or quenches my thirst Every conversation always gets out of hand

Don’t be blue
Turn it around
Change your views
Upside down

Stuck in a job to pay my mortgage
Always have to listen to everyone’s garbage
I’ll never meet up to my parent’s expectations of me

Don’t be blue
Turn it around
Change your views
Upside down

Vibaphone solo: Tony Hoyting
Recorded at Wedgeview Studio and Studio Silvester June 2020

So many trees in the forest
But this one is just a bit different
Stronger and taller and brighter
All in all rather magnificent
Constantly facing the sun

Your branches are reaching much higher
Your leaves look so green and succulent
In autumn you alter your colours
To yellow and golden magnificent
A safe place to hide when it rains

I want to grow just as strong as you
Just as bright as you
Just as fierce as you
I want to be just as wise as you
Just as nice as you
Just as dear as you

I am merely a sapling
Wanting to grow my own way
Securely under your coverage
Knowing how much that must weigh
Waiting for my Independence Day

I want to grow just as strong as you
Just as bright as you
Just as fierce as you
I want to be just as wise as you
Just as nice as you
Just as dear as you

Sometimes
When the night is extra cold
After lightning has struck
When your bark is feeling old
Rest your weary limbs
On me
Rest your weary limbs on me

I want to grow just as strong as you
Just as bright as you
Just as fierce as you
I want to be just as wise as you
Just as nice as you
Just as dear as you

Trombone solo: Arend Huisman

Like a young child
Learning to walk
Or a small toddler
Mastering the talk
Stumbling is inevitable
Tripping is part of life
Get up, keep going
You’ll learn in time

So I grow
Reap what I sow
And all I know
Becomes a part of me
So I grow
Reap what I sow
All I need to know
Is Love

That big dissapointment
That massive sorrow
That makes you feel
You can’t face tomorrow
Get up, get going
Wipe the tears away
Every single morning
Can be new year’s day

So I grow
Reap what I sow
And all I know
Becomes a part of me
So I grow
Reap what I sow
All I need to know
Is Love

When the pain seemed too deep to breathe
When I saw no way out
That’s when I became a warrior
That’s when I learned to overcome

So I grow
Reap what I sow
And all I know
Becomes a part of me
So I grow
Reap what I sow
All I need to know
Is Love

Flugel solo: Libbe Oosterman
Recorded at Studio Moskou and Studio Silvester April 2021

Walking along this quiet path
I look around and see
The trees and the bees and the lovely flowers
In the distance, very, very far away
There’s a summit for me to visit
I hope I have the power
For Goodness sake, I hope I have the power

Walking along this busy road
There’s so much going on
The people, the buildings and the many cars
That summit seems out of sight
I nearly lose my way
Unexpected, help comes from the stars
Thankfully help comes from the stars

Life became so much better once you came along
Walking this long path together made both of us strong
I am so grateful that you chose to share my song

Walking along this rocky path
I don’t have far to go
It sure has been an adventure
I look back at the road I’ve travelled
And those whose lives I’ve touched
I can say it has been quite a pleasure
Honestly, it has been quite a pleasure

Flute solo: Tibor Elferink
Recorded at Studio Moskou and Studio Silvester April 2021

Wondering ‘bout my life and how things go
I find a few facts and surprises along the way
I’m casually learning how to go with the flow
And stand in awe of where I am today

Beautiful melodies fill the air with delight
Solo’s and jazz songs and saxophone sounds
I may not be a success overnight
But every step feels like my playground

I’m the Leader of the Band
I’ll count you in
I’m the Leader of the Band
One two three, let’s begin
I’m the Leader of the Band

Every moment of this adventure is wild
Every step is new and unknown and scary
I lack experience I feel like a child
I still believe I’m only ordinary

I’m the Leader of the Band
I’ll count you in
I’m the Leader of the Band
One two three, let’s begin
I’m the Leader of the Band

When I look back at what I’ve achieved
I feel pleased and happy and proud
I would never have believed
That I could ever summon a crowd

I’m the Leader of the Band
I’ll count you in
I’m the Leader of the Band
One two three, let’s begin
I’m the Leader of the Band

Saxophone solo: Tibor Elferink
Recorded at Wedgeview Studios and Studio Silvester June 2020

I have a hundred thousand questions
For the world, my friend, and you
‘Bout industrial revolution
And air pollution, what can we do

If we carry on like this
And if we cannot make it end
If we continue this befouling
Overheating will be the trend

Overwrought and overwhelmed
I often lay awake at night
If we don’t take action now
Mass extinction will be our plight

Tomorrow brings another day
And I will struggle through
I’ll persist in finding promise
A guiding light to hold on to

I will open up my eyes
To see the love and all that’s good
The changes and renewal
The people, the sisterhood

Their honesty, their passion
Their courage and their zeal
Give me back my faith
And causes me to heal

Look at all that power
That one man or woman has
All those little groups of people
Have so much pizzazz

Trust the force within you
Nothing is too strange
Believe that it can happen
Know that things can change

I have a hundred thousand questions
For the world, my friend, and you
‘Bout how we can make changes
For this Earth that you love too

Flugel solo: Libbe Oosterman
Recorded at Wedgeview Studios and Studio Silvester June 2020

(Live at Odeon Theatre with the Red Limo String Quartet)

I sing this lullaby for you
To ease you into sleep
To pave the way for happy dreams
Instead of counting sheep

Generations in this bed
With copper posts and all
Beneath these quilts you rest
Instead of staring at the wall

My soothing hand slowly sedates
And quietens your mind
All those burdens and those weights
Just leave them all behind

Trust that you are cared for
Know you are secure
In your sleepy hollow
Of that you can be sure

Relax your body and your soul
Let go of all your hurt
So many things you can’t control
Let grace replenish your heart

Featuring: Red Limo String Quartet
Vibraphone: Tony Hoyting
Double bass: Pieter Althuis
Recorded at Odeon Theatre January 2019